Our labor and delivery experience was nothing like what I had anticipated. That's one good thing I'll take from what was a pretty traumatic experience- don't have expectations of what it will be like. You just have to deal with whatever happens. My water broke at around 3 am and we left for the hospital (which is 5 minutes away) within the hour. I was surprised by how quickly the contractions progressed. By the time we were checking in, I was doubled over and started cursing. I honestly never thought I'd be that woman screaming profanities, but let me tell you, I was! I remember screaming/moaning curses and then apologizing for my language while still screaming. Matt looked at me like I had 3 heads.
Once they checked my vitals, they told me I had developed severe pre-ecclampsia, and needed to be given a drug to slow my blood pressure. In the end, it slowed everything- labor, contractions, and even C's systems. Looong story short, when he was finally delivered, he was blue, not crying, low tone, floppy, the works. I knew things weren't good when a team of Doctors and Nurses rushed in. He was sent straight to the NICU. I was terrified but more confused because the medicine had me so out of it.
Since I still needed to be on my meds (IV) I couldn't leave the delivery room, and C couldn't leave the NICU. I had him on a Friday night and didn't get a real visit until Sunday. It was the weirdest feeling, I knew I had delivered a baby, was no longer pregnant, but didn't feel like I "had" a baby. Not a Mom yet, at all.
|Our first real visit|
|C chillin in the NICU|
Everything changed when we were reunited. All of my fears of not being able to bond with him because of the separation were totally erased. I felt like the two of us had something no one else could understand. I still feel that way. He looks at me sometimes like we have a secret, and I'm the only one he needs. If he's upset and I walk in the room, he calms down. THAT is a great feeling, and comes with such responsibility.
|About a week old|
|2 Weeks Old|
We've really gotten into a groove now where I can actually expect a schedule for the day/night. He has recently (knock on wood, I better not have jinxed myself) started sleeping through the night. Usually from 7 pm until 5-6 am when Matt will take him after I nurse, changes his diaper and puts him back down. Then he sleeps until 7-8. The sleep alone has made me feel so energized, although I swear there is something in us that forces you to function even on the bare minimum in terms of sleep.
Every time he does something new, I feel like I'm watching a miracle. Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I swear other moms would agree with me. Or, they think I sound like a lunatic. When he started grabbing my face, I was obsessed. Now he will grab my face with one hand on each check!
|Pics to Dad first thing in the AM|
|Started grabbing my face|
|I can't resist these lips!|
Being a Mom has far exceeded my expectations of just how much I could love a person, and it's just amazing to me how that love grows everyday. I love thinking about all of the exciting things we have to look forward to, but I also try and enjoy being in the present.
|Not happy with this NYE photo shoot!|
|6 months old!|
Happy half birthday to my happy little guy! Mama loves you!