6 Months

1 Week

6 Months

 I cannot believe 6 months have gone by since my little man was born. There are mornings where I'll pick him up and swear he is heavier, or has more hair. Of course, it's hard to see the changes when you're together all the time, but looking back at old pictures amazes me. He was born 6 pounds, 6 ounces, and 19 inches long. When we took him home from the hospital he was only 5 pounds and 10 ounces.

Our labor and delivery experience was nothing like what I had anticipated. That's one good thing I'll take from what was a pretty traumatic experience- don't have expectations of what it will be like. You just have to deal with whatever happens. My water broke at around 3 am and we left for the hospital (which is 5 minutes away) within the hour. I was surprised by how quickly the contractions progressed. By the time we were checking in, I was doubled over and started cursing. I honestly never thought I'd be that woman screaming profanities, but let me tell you, I was! I remember screaming/moaning curses and then apologizing for my language while still screaming. Matt looked at me like I had 3 heads.

Once they checked my vitals, they told me I had developed severe pre-ecclampsia, and needed to be given a drug to slow my blood pressure. In the end, it slowed everything- labor, contractions, and even C's systems. Looong story short, when he was finally delivered, he was blue, not crying, low tone, floppy, the works. I knew things weren't good when a team of Doctors and Nurses rushed in. He was sent straight to the NICU. I was terrified but more confused because the medicine had me so out of it.

Since I still needed to be on my meds (IV) I couldn't leave the delivery room, and C couldn't leave the NICU. I had him on a Friday night and didn't get a real visit until Sunday. It was the weirdest feeling, I knew I had delivered a baby, was no longer pregnant, but didn't feel like I "had" a baby. Not a Mom yet, at all.

Our first real visit

C chillin in the NICU

Everything changed when we were reunited. All of my fears of not being able to bond with him because of the separation were totally erased. I felt like the two of us had something no one else could understand. I still feel that way. He looks at me sometimes like we have a secret, and I'm the only one he needs. If he's upset and I walk in the room, he calms down. THAT is a great feeling, and comes with such responsibility.

About a week old

2 Weeks Old

2 Weeks 

One Month

6 Weeks

We've really gotten into a groove now where I can actually expect a schedule for the day/night. He has recently (knock on wood, I better not have jinxed myself) started sleeping through the night. Usually from 7 pm until 5-6 am when Matt will take him after I nurse, changes his diaper and puts him back down. Then he sleeps until 7-8. The sleep alone has made me feel so energized, although I swear there is something in us that forces you to function even on the bare minimum in terms of sleep. 

Every time he does something new, I feel like I'm watching a miracle. Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I swear other moms would agree with me. Or, they think I sound like a lunatic. When he started grabbing my face, I was obsessed. Now he will grab my face with one hand on each check!

Pics to Dad first thing in the AM

Started grabbing my face

I can't resist these lips!

Being a Mom has far exceeded my expectations of just how much I could love a person, and it's just amazing to me how that love grows everyday. I love thinking about all of the exciting things we have to look forward to, but I also try and enjoy being in the present. 

C's first trip to NYC to stay with his Godparents

Not happy with this NYE photo shoot!

6 months old!

Our routine is pretty relaxed now. We both stay in our pj's until after his first nap. When he was a newborn I would shower, blow dry my hair, and get dressed every morning. I think I was so worried about becoming that cliche "frumpy Mom" that I really put too much pressure on myself. Who was I trying to prove myself to? I'm not sure, to be honest. There are a lot of days I go straight from pj's to workout clothes, and that's fine with me. At least I try to have cute workout clothes! ;)

Happy half birthday to my happy little guy! Mama loves you!